Nursery Rhymes in the Age of Trump

Image by Loren Elkin from Pixabay

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
Trump called her a nasty, nasty woman.

***

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool,
Yes, sir, yes, sir,
But the Trump Organization ordered it all and then stiffed me when it came time to pay.

***

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head,
Mama called the Donald and the Donald said,
Give him a quart of Clorox and a couple hours in a tanning machine, and he should be good to go.

***

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
Grabbed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie said it was just locker room talk, and that he didn’t even believe it was him on the tape.

***

Trumpty Dumpty fell out of bed,
Plopped on the floor like six tons of lead,
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,
Had to use a hoist and a crane to lift that tumefied hippopotamus off the floor.

***

There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile,
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And then he became president of the United States.

~~Kenn Shapiro

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